Top 250 movies, best rated, ever!

Rank	Rating	Title	Votes
1.	9.2	The Shawshank Redemption (1994)	830,821
2.	9.2	The Godfather (1972)	609,315
3.	9.0	The Godfather: Part II (1974)	388,712
4.	8.9	Pulp Fiction (1994)	649,531
5.	8.9	The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)	256,240
6.	8.9	12 Angry Men (1957)	204,404
7.	8.9	Schindler's List (1993)	432,196
8.	8.9	The Dark Knight (2008)	809,743
9.	8.8	The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)	588,573
10.	8.8	Fight Club (1999)	634,539
11.	8.8	Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)	418,855
12.	8.8	One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)	350,177
13.	8.7	The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)	611,624
14.	8.7	Inception (2010)	629,818
15.	8.7	Goodfellas (1990)	367,707
16.	8.7	Star Wars (1977)	470,292
17.	8.7	Seven Samurai (1954)	136,041
18.	8.7	The Matrix (1999)	607,775
19.	8.7	City of God (2002)	274,158
20.	8.7	Forrest Gump (1994)	537,136
21.	8.7	The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)	527,490
22.	8.7	Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)	117,037
23.	8.6	Casablanca (1942)	232,628
24.	8.6	Se7en (1995)	482,787
25.	8.6	The Silence of the Lambs (1991)	405,212
26.	8.6	Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)	360,603
27.	8.6	The Usual Suspects (1995)	393,282
28.	8.6	The Dark Knight Rises (2012)	380,354
29.	8.6	Rear Window (1954)	173,986
30.	8.6	Psycho (1960)	215,341
31.	8.6	It's a Wonderful Life (1946)	147,701
32.	8.6	Léon: The Professional (1994)	353,031
33.	8.6	Sunset Blvd. (1950)	78,978
34.	8.6	Memento (2000)	443,451
35.	8.5	American History X (1998)	382,881
36.	8.5	Apocalypse Now (1979)	252,026
37.	8.5	Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)	383,477
38.	8.5	Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)	211,311
39.	8.5	Saving Private Ryan (1998)	430,695
40.	8.5	North by Northwest (1959)	128,648
41.	8.5	Alien (1979)	285,780
42.	8.5	City Lights (1931)	48,686
43.	8.5	Spirited Away (2001)	183,838
44.	8.5	Citizen Kane (1941)	184,999
45.	8.5	The Shining (1980)	293,991
46.	8.5	Modern Times (1936)	60,864
47.	8.5	American Beauty (1999)	446,417
48.	8.5	Taxi Driver (1976)	255,818
49.	8.5	Vertigo (1958)	131,876
50.	8.5	Toy Story 3 (2010)	240,273
51.	8.4	The Pianist (2002)	227,127
52.	8.4	The Departed (2006)	425,720
53.	8.4	Back to the Future (1985)	335,827
54.	8.4	M (1931)	57,299
55.	8.4	Paths of Glory (1957)	64,853
56.	8.4	Double Indemnity (1944)	54,554
57.	8.4	Aliens (1986)	262,076
58.	8.4	Life Is Beautiful (1997)	180,972
59.	8.4	WALL·E (2008)	330,548
60.	8.4	The Lives of Others (2006)	130,579
61.	8.4	A Clockwork Orange (1971)	288,334
62.	8.4	Amélie (2001)	283,696
63.	8.4	To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)	118,413
64.	8.4	Lawrence of Arabia (1962)	108,224
65.	8.4	Gladiator (2000)	467,974
66.	8.4	The Green Mile (1999)	342,664
67.	8.4	The Prestige (2006)	376,135
68.	8.4	Reservoir Dogs (1992)	328,488
69.	8.4	The Great Dictator (1940)	60,485
70.	8.4	Das Boot (1981)	98,276
71.	8.4	Requiem for a Dream (2000)	300,971
72.	8.4	The Third Man (1949)	68,727
73.	8.4	Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)	349,401
74.	8.4	The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)	46,276
75.	8.4	The Intouchables (2011)	87,235
76.	8.3	Chinatown (1974)	118,724
77.	8.3	Cinema Paradiso (1988)	72,613
78.	8.3	L.A. Confidential (1997)	241,247
79.	8.3	Once Upon a Time in America (1984)	115,660
80.	8.3	Full Metal Jacket (1987)	243,346
81.	8.3	Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)	220,586
82.	8.3	Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)	326,786
83.	8.3	The Lion King (1994)	271,881
84.	8.3	Braveheart (1995)	382,195
85.	8.3	Some Like It Hot (1959)	98,467
86.	8.3	Singin' in the Rain (1952)	81,014
87.	8.3	Oldboy (2003)	167,038
88.	8.3	Amadeus (1984)	146,861
89.	8.3	Metropolis (1927)	60,899
90.	8.3	Rashomon (1950)	57,168
91.	8.3	Bicycle Thieves (1948)	45,027
92.	8.3	Unforgiven (1992)	153,793
93.	8.3	All About Eve (1950)	48,205
94.	8.3	2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)	226,632
95.	8.3	The Apartment (1960)	56,800
96.	8.3	Raging Bull (1980)	132,095
97.	8.3	The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)	84,967
98.	8.3	The Sting (1973)	95,954
99.	8.3	Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)	268,113
100.	8.3	Princess Mononoke (1997)	106,347
101.	8.3	The Avengers (2012)	355,535
102.	8.3	A Separation (2011)	63,349
103.	8.3	Die Hard (1988)	307,515
104.	8.3	Pan's Labyrinth (2006)	249,086
105.	8.3	Downfall (2004)	133,647
106.	8.3	Batman Begins (2005)	470,291
107.	8.3	Witness for the Prosecution (1957)	28,208
108.	8.3	Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)	46,043
109.	8.3	Grave of the Fireflies (1988)	57,958
110.	8.3	The Great Escape (1963)	90,916
111.	8.3	Inglourious Basterds (2009)	366,420
112.	8.3	Yojimbo (1961)	41,573
113.	8.3	For a Few Dollars More (1965)	74,635
114.	8.3	Up (2009)	268,013
115.	8.3	Snatch. (2000)	302,803
116.	8.3	The Elephant Man (1980)	90,126
117.	8.3	On the Waterfront (1954)	57,571
118.	8.2	The Seventh Seal (1957)	59,971
119.	8.2	The Maltese Falcon (1941)	69,037
120.	8.2	Heat (1995)	233,572
121.	8.2	Toy Story (1995)	279,927
122.	8.2	Gran Torino (2008)	270,254
123.	8.2	Rebecca (1940)	50,067
124.	8.2	The General (1926)	28,809
125.	8.2	Blade Runner (1982)	269,365
126.	8.2	Wild Strawberries (1957)	33,359
127.	8.2	Fargo (1996)	235,225
128.	8.2	Touch of Evil (1958)	44,645
129.	8.2	The Big Lebowski (1998)	276,252
130.	8.2	The Kid (1921)	26,293
131.	8.2	Ran (1985)	46,770
132.	8.2	Scarface (1983)	264,943
133.	8.2	Cool Hand Luke (1967)	68,876
134.	8.2	The Deer Hunter (1978)	132,458
135.	8.2	Sin City (2005)	378,867
136.	8.2	Strangers on a Train (1951)	51,466
137.	8.2	The Gold Rush (1925)	33,020
138.	8.2	Jaws (1975)	212,576
139.	8.2	No Country for Old Men (2007)	316,279
140.	8.2	It Happened One Night (1934)	35,800
141.	8.1	Hotel Rwanda (2004)	144,729
142.	8.1	High Noon (1952)	47,560
143.	8.1	The Sixth Sense (1999)	379,475
144.	8.1	Platoon (1986)	165,200
145.	8.1	Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)	217,076
146.	8.1	Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)	84,310
147.	8.1	The Thing (1982)	139,363
148.	8.1	The Wizard of Oz (1939)	153,560
149.	8.1	Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)	370,573
150.	8.1	Trainspotting (1996)	242,332
151.	8.1	Notorious (1946)	43,462
152.	8.1	Casino (1995)	172,278
153.	8.1	Annie Hall (1977)	101,384
154.	8.1	Warrior (2011/I)	122,970
155.	8.1	The King's Speech (2010)	204,694
156.	8.1	The Secret in Their Eyes (2009)	54,364
157.	8.1	The Grapes of Wrath (1940)	34,284
158.	8.1	Gone with the Wind (1939)	120,681
159.	8.1	Into the Wild (2007)	196,503
160.	8.1	Good Will Hunting (1997)	267,454
161.	8.1	Black Swan (2010)	277,228
162.	8.1	Life of Brian (1979)	147,392
163.	8.1	The Big Sleep (1946)	39,631
164.	8.1	Finding Nemo (2003)	306,477
165.	8.1	How to Train Your Dragon (2010)	170,022
166.	8.1	V for Vendetta (2005)	392,649
167.	8.1	Donnie Darko (2001)	323,343
168.	8.1	Ben-Hur (1959)	86,771
169.	8.1	Network (1976)	55,528
170.	8.1	The Night of the Hunter (1955)	36,725
171.	8.1	The Terminator (1984)	298,586
172.	8.1	My Neighbor Totoro (1988)	63,248
173.	8.1	Dial M for Murder (1954)	49,917
174.	8.1	Million Dollar Baby (2004)	238,179
175.	8.1	Moonrise Kingdom (2012)	29,240
176.	8.1	Stand by Me (1986)	143,068
177.	8.1	There Will Be Blood (2007)	200,921
178.	8.1	Groundhog Day (1993)	224,105
179.	8.1	Dog Day Afternoon (1975)	99,619
180.	8.1	Twelve Monkeys (1995)	255,515
181.	8.1	Amores Perros (2000)	98,070
182.	8.1	The Artist (2011/I)	88,399
183.	8.1	The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)	255,137
184.	8.1	The Graduate (1967)	120,697
185.	8.1	Mary and Max (2009)	47,492
186.	8.1	The 400 Blows (1959)	36,967
187.	8.1	Gandhi (1982)	84,580
188.	8.1	Persona (1966)	28,251
189.	8.1	The Killing (1956)	36,618
190.	8.1	Slumdog Millionaire (2008)	326,542
191.	8.0	8½ (1963)	44,725
192.	8.0	The Princess Bride (1987)	170,718
193.	8.0	Howl's Moving Castle (2004)	89,792
194.	8.0	The Manchurian Candidate (1962)	46,139
195.	8.0	Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)	30,720
196.	8.0	La Strada (1954)	26,378
197.	8.0	The Hustler (1961)	36,188
198.	8.0	The Wild Bunch (1969)	43,011
199.	8.0	Stalag 17 (1953)	27,971
200.	8.0	Rocky (1976)	170,288
201.	8.0	Anatomy of a Murder (1959)	25,169
202.	8.0	District 9 (2009)	293,544
203.	8.0	A Beautiful Mind (2001)	252,007
204.	8.0	The Exorcist (1973)	170,229
205.	8.0	Rope (1948)	51,208
206.	8.0	Barry Lyndon (1975)	57,120
207.	8.0	The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)	32,463
208.	8.0	Stalker (1979)	34,330
209.	8.0	Ratatouille (2007)	239,616
210.	8.0	Roman Holiday (1953)	49,789
211.	8.0	Infernal Affairs (2002)	52,188
212.	8.0	The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007)	54,376
213.	8.0	The Truman Show (1998)	294,633
214.	8.0	Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)	213,532
215.	8.0	A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)	49,749
216.	8.0	Ip Man (2008)	56,581
217.	8.0	Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)	405,567
218.	8.0	Star Trek (2009)	255,423
219.	8.0	The Wrestler (2008)	167,517
220.	8.0	A Fistful of Dollars (1964)	61,644
221.	8.0	Beauty and the Beast (1991)	141,303
222.	8.0	Rosemary's Baby (1968)	81,790
223.	8.0	Harvey (1950)	30,951
224.	8.0	Monsters, Inc. (2001)	238,913
225.	8.0	Bringing Up Baby (1938)	29,876
226.	8.0	In the Name of the Father (1993)	45,342
227.	8.0	All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)	31,440
228.	8.0	Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)	39,576
229.	8.0	Shadow of a Doubt (1943)	29,088
230.	8.0	Nosferatu (1922)	42,816
231.	8.0	Manhattan (1979)	61,138
232.	8.0	Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring (2003)	32,001
233.	8.0	Rain Man (1988)	199,589
234.	8.0	La Haine (1995)	47,181
235.	8.0	Shutter Island (2010)	312,312
236.	8.0	Mystic River (2003)	200,652
237.	8.0	Let the Right One In (2008)	110,691
238.	8.0	Big Fish (2003)	224,761
239.	8.0	Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)	38,458
240.	8.0	In the Heat of the Night (1967)	30,440
241.	8.0	The Searchers (1956)	40,012
242.	8.0	Castle in the Sky (1986)	40,767
243.	8.0	The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)	126,914
244.	8.0	The Untouchables (1987)	127,468
245.	8.0	Rio Bravo (1959)	26,761
246.	8.0	Papillon (1973)	45,397
247.	8.0	King Kong (1933)	48,781
248.	8.0	Ed Wood (1994)	102,563
249.	8.0	La Dolce Vita (1960)	27,077
250.	8.0	Patton (1970)	53,303

The formula for calculating the Top Rated 250 Titles gives a true Bayesian estimate:

 weighted rating (WR) = (v ÷ (v+m)) × R + (m ÷ (v+m)) × C 

where:

• R = average for the movie (mean) = (Rating)
• v = number of votes for the movie = (votes)
• m = minimum votes required to be listed in the Top 250 (currently 25000)
• C = the mean vote across the whole report (currently 7.1)

for the Top 250, only votes from regular voters are considered.

Top 100: Funny Quotes and One-Liners

As powerful as inspirational quotes can be, sometimes we just need a bit of humor to lighten up our day. For those occasions, funny quotes and one-liners are quite effective, especially when they poke fun at our everyday annoyances, whether it be politics, work, aging or marriage.
Not content with finding these humorous quotes on only bumper stickers, we set out to put together a list of them. Below, you’ll find the Top 100: Funny Quotes and One-Liners that are sure to put a smile on your face.

1. ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’” - Unknown
2. “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers
3. “Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz
4. ”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” - Unknown
5. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” - Brian Gerald O’Driscoll
6. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” - Oscar Wilde
7. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” - Abraham Lincoln (paraphrase from the Bible, ‘Proverbs’ 17:28)
8. “The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.” - Unknown
9. “The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.” - Albert Einstein
10. “I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” - Unknown
11. “Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” - Bill McGlashen
12. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” - Marilyn Monroe
13. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets” - Al McGuire
14. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” - Mark Twain
15. “Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?” - Unknown
16. ”If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” - Sam Levenson
17. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” - Earl Wilson
18. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” - Albert Einstein
19. “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” - Will Rogers
20. “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” - Steven Wright
21. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” - Jack Handey
22. ”Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.” - Unknown
23. “If evolution is fact, why do mothers only have two hands?” - Milton Berle
24. “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” - Unknown
25. “I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.” - Unknown
26. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” - Robert Frost
27. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” - Zig Ziglar
28. “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” - Emo Philips
29. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” - Bob Hope
30. “A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying ‘boy was that fun.’” - The Maugles
31. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” - Isaac Asimov
32. “Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” - Barbra Streisand
33. “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” - Harry S. Truman
34. “We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.” - Unknown
35. “If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.” - Unknown
36. “My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” - Jack Nicholson
37. “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” - Woody Allen
38. “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” - Unknown
39. “Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.” - Unknown
40. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.” - Wilson Mizner
41. “Three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: ‘Hold my purse.’” - Unknown
42. “I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.” - Unknown
43. “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” - Emo Philips
44. “Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.” - Unknown
45. “The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.” - Unknown
46. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” - Oscar Wilde
47. “Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.” - Unknown
48. “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.” - Ashleigh Brilliant
49. “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.” - Axel Rose
50. “You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.” - Unknown
51. “Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?” - Unknown
52. “A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” - Franklin Jones
53. “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!” - Henny Youngman
54. “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon’.” - Chris Rock
55. “When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.” - Norm Crosby
56. “The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.” - Brendan Behan
57. “Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.” - Unknown
58. “A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’” - Claude Pepper
59. “I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.” - Unknown
60. “The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.” - Dennis Miller
61. “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” - Winston Churchill
62. ”It’s strange, isn’t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh’ and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.” - Tommy Cooper
63. “Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?” - Unknown
64. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” - Franklin P. Jones
65. “I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” - Unknown
66. ”God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.” - Ethel Mumford
67. ”A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” - Robert Purvis
68. “The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” - George Jessel
69. “America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.” - Unknown
70. “Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?” - Unknown
71. “Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.” - Unknown
72. “I’m at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.” - Rodney Dangerfield
73. “If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they’re going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” - Jerry Seinfeld
74.“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” - Rodney Dangerfield
75. ”As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” - Norman Wisdom
76. “How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?” - Unknown
77. “Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?” - Rita Rudner
78. “If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.” - Robin Williams
79. “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” - Charles Wadsworth
80. “A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.” - Bill Vaughan
81. “To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.” - Unknown
82. “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” - Jackie Mason
83. ”Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.” - Oprah Winfrey
84. ”Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” - Christopher Marlowe
85. ”Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.” - Franklin P. Jones
86. “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” - Jerry Seinfeld
87. “Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.” - Unknown
88. “Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?” - Unknown
89. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” - Ronald Reagan
90. “A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” - Fred Allen
91. “They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.” - Unknown
92. “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” - Robin Williams
93. ”First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” - Steve Martin
94. ”I hope that after I die, people will say of me: ‘That guy sure owed me a lot of money.’” - Jack Handy
95. ”Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” - Erma Bombeck
96.“Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.” - Unknown
97. “The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.” - Unknown
98. “At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” - Ann Landers
99. “If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.” - Unknown
100. “Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen.” - Unknown

Top 100: Inspirational Quotes to Live By

Good quotes are often powerful words of wisdom that inspire, educate and even motivate a person to take action. They usually share common themes such as:

• Positive thinking leads to positive outcomes
• Failure is a stepping stone to success
• Help yourself by helping others
• Determination, initiative and persistence are the foundation of success

And yet these lessons of life are typically condensed into 1-2 lines. Therefore we thought it’d be a great idea to come up with the ultimate list of 100 inspiring quotes to live by.

1. “I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.” - Dudley Field Malone
2. “If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.” - Albert Einstein
3. “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” - Bill Copeland
4. “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” - George Eliot
5. “All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” - Walt Disney
6. “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
7. “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” - Milton Berle
8. ”An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” - M.K. Gandhi
9. ”Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.” - John F. Kennedy
10. ”I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas Edison
11. ”It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” - Aristotle
12. ”It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.” - Howard Ruff
13. ”It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” - Vince Lombardi
14. ”Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” - Sun-Tzu
15. ”Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” - Albert Einstein
16. ”Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.” - Benjamin Franklin
17. ”Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ‘em.” - William Shakespeare
18. ”That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
19. ”The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” - Will Rogers
20. ”Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” - Will Rogers
21. ”To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.” - George Washington
22. ”When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt
23. ”Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” - Henry David Thoreau
24. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
25. “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
26. ”I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.” - Albert Einstein
27. “Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.” - Albert Einstein
28. ”Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” - Mark Twain
29. “People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Apple Computers
30. ”You must be the change you want to see in the world.” - M.K. Gandhi
31. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan
32. “If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.” - E. Joseph Cossman
33. ”Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” - Henry Ford
34. ”Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” - Truman Capote
35. ”Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.” - Roy Goodman
36. ”In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.” - Sid Caesar
37. “The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.” - Richard Bach
38. ”The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” - Margo Kaufman
39. “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” - Elbert Hubbard
40. ”We see things not as they are, but as we are.” - H. M. Tomlinson
41. ”The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” - Chinese Proverb
42. ”Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare.” - Japanese Proverb
43. ”If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a chance of being a prophet.” - Isaac B. Singer
44. “The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.” - Jimmy Johnson
45. “When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” - Sydney Harris
46. “The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.” - Foster’s Law
47. ”I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.” - Winston Churchill
48. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill
49. ”Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” - Voltaire
50. “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” - Abraham Lincoln
51. “Don’t go through life, grow through life.” - Eric Butterworth
52. “Positive anything is better than negative thinking.” - Elbert Hubbard
53. ”Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” - William B. Sprague
54. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” - Albert Einstein
55. “I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.” - Oprah Winfrey
56. “In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing.” - Theodore Roosevelt
57. “Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.” - Charles F. Kettering
58. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain
59. “There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” - Dr. Denis Waitley
60. “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” - John Wooden
61. “Cause change and lead; accept change and survive; resist change and die.” - Ray Norda
62. “Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it.” - Joe Clark
63. “Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” - Richard L. Evans
64. ”A mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work if it isn’t open.” - Frank Zappa 

65. “If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.” - J.M. Power
66. “In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” - Thomas Jefferson
67. “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” - Dennis P. Kimbro
68. “Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you’re still trying, keep it up! You’re right on track.” - Matthew Keith Groves
69. “An obstacle is often a stepping stone.” - Prescott
70. “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” - Helen Keller
71. “The real opportunity for success lies within the person and not in the job.” - Zig Ziglar
72. “If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.” - Napoleon Hill
73. “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” - Ray Kroc
74. ”Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” - Vince Lombardi
75. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” - Zig Ziglar
76. “If not us, who? If not now, when?” - John F. Kennedy
77. “Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” - Dale Carnegie
78. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” - Joe Girard
79. “Some men see things as they are and say why – I dream things that never were and say why not.” - George Bernard Shaw
80. “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.” - Sidney
81. “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” - Bill Cosby
82. “The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others.” - Hasidic Proverb
83. “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” - Peter F. Drucker
84. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” - Wayne Gretzky
85. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr. Seuss
86. “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” - Pablo Picasso
87. “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
88. “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” - Robert Brault
89. “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” - Albert Einstein
90. “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” - Benjamin Franklin
91. “Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” - Thomas Edison
92. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” - Confucius
93. “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” - Winston Churchill
94. “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
95. “Great thoughts speak only to the thoughtful mind, but great actions speak to all mankind.” - Theodore Roosevelt
96. “You make a living by what you earn; you make a life by what you give.” - Winston Churchill
97. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” - Lao Tzu
98. “What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” - Dwight D. Eisenhower
99. ”Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great makes you feel that you, too, can become great.” - Mark Twain
100. ”Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed. In the second, it is opposed. In the third, it is regarded as self evident.” - Arthur Schopenhauer