After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled and asked him to sit down saying:"My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Man: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Man: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Man: 10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day.
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Man: 122(1/3 x 366=122 in days)
Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?
Man: No sir.
Manager: How many days r there in a year that r weekends?
Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days do u now have?
Man: 18 days.
Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Man: 4 days.
Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on Independence Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do u work on Christmas Day?
Man: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: None Sir!
Manager: So what r u claiming?
Man: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR - HIGH RISK.
~~~
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Profile of a Software Engineer (ORKUT) !!
About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone!! Ok...I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (If you know me--> "Just stop laughing!!")
Relationship status: what
Birthday :The day my PL is about to fire me
Age : 10111
Here for : web browsing in company hours.
Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)
Ethnicity : Programmer.
Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion: I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!
Humor : weekly.
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag
Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.
Drinking : The first is this.
Pets : Yeah, my PL looks like a dog.
Living : Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!
Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page
Webpage : http://naukri.com , http://jobsahead.com - Isnt it Ultimate???
Passions : searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future
Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.
Activities : Are you crazy?
Books : "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored.
Music : Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing
Tv shows : can't afford one.
Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meteres of Home.
~~~
~~~
Relationship status: what
Birthday :The day my PL is about to fire me
Age : 10111
Here for : web browsing in company hours.
Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)
Ethnicity : Programmer.
Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion: I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!
Humor : weekly.
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag
Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.
Drinking : The first is this.
Pets : Yeah, my PL looks like a dog.
Living : Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!
Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page
Webpage : http://naukri.com , http://jobsahead.com - Isnt it Ultimate???
Passions : searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future
Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.
Activities : Are you crazy?
Books : "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored.
Music : Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing
Tv shows : can't afford one.
Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meteres of Home.
~~~
~~~
what is LOVE? what is MARRIAGE?
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: - you can go through them only once & cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for better ones, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...."*
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium sized corn that he felt satisfied, and came back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."
~~~
Newton in Romantic Mood...
Universal Law oOf Love:
" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "
First Law of Love:
"A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy. "
Second Law of Love:
"The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance. "
Third Law of Love:
" The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping."
~~~
Who works for India ?
The population of India is 100 crores.
100,000,00,000
But 19 crores are retired -19,000,00,000
That leaves 81 crores do the work 81,000,00,000
There are 25 crores in school - 25,000,00,000
which leaves 56 crores to do the work- 56,000,00,000
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Govt -22,000,00,000 ( No Use )
leaving 34 crores to do the work 34,000,00,000
4 crores are in the Armed Forces -4,000,00,000 (Salute them)
which leaves 30 crores to do the work -30,000,00,0 00
Take away from above total the 20 crores people work for State Governments
(State Government employees officially do not work!)
-20,000,00,000
and that leaves 10 crores to do the work 10,000,00,000
Total unemployed are 8 crores -8,000,00,000
and that leaves 2 crores to do the work -2,000,00,000
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals -1,200,00,000
leaving 80 lakhs to do the work 80,00,000
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are -79,99,998
people are in prisons throughout the country -79,99,998
That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......
2
You and me!!!
And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading my BLOG .
So I am the only person in our country who is working! And that's why India
is surviving!!!
Now, please log out and do your job because, for a change, I
want to rest. And I don't want India to suffer because of that.
~~~
Waiting for a Perfect Man
Gentlemen - U can have a good laugh at it.
~~~
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Softwares Pack 2009 - all latest softwares
 SOFTWARES Pack 2009 - Tiny Version | 667 MB Thic pack includes : All in One 12 Adobe Portables Collection AIO Disk Image 2008 AIO Uniblue Products 2009 ImTOO Software All In One 2009 Best Hacking Tools - 85 in 1 Best Portable Soft 2009 40 in 1 ZC Software DVD Authoring Software 2009 AIO StarDock Applications September 2008 Bit Defender - All Product 2009 Auslogics AIO Pack 2009 Media Plugins & Players DFX Audio Enhancer 9.102 Real Player v.11.0.9.372 Gold Premium MediaMonkey Goid 3.1.0.1228 GOM Player 2.1.17.4710 FabFilter Pro-C VST RTAS 1.12 Winamp PRO 5.551 Build 2419 BSPlayer Pro v2.37.992B CyberLink PowerCinema 6 v6.0.0.1309 Multilingual CyberLink PowerDVD Ultra v9.0.1501 Multilingual VLC Media Player v0.9.9 Portable Adobe Photoshop CS4 v11.0 Portable All Office Converter Platinum 6.1 Portable CuteFTP Pro v.8.3.2 Build 09.02.2008.1 Portable Instant Color Picker 2.5 IP Address Searcher 1.1.2 Flash Player Pro v3.9 Portable Kaspersky Anti-Virus 2009 Portable CorelDRAW Graphics Suite X4 Portable IDM 5.15 Build 6 Portable Nero 9.2.6.0 Retail Portable Graphics & Designs Nature Illusion Studio v3.00 Pictomio 1.2.28 DreamLight Photo Editor v3.0 Frame Photo Editor 3.2.0 ImageConverter Plus 7.1.20 build.80708 Blumentals Screensaver Factory Enterprise v5.0 CorelDRAW Graphics Suite X4 14.0.0.701 SP2 Photoshop CS4 Extended ACDSee Pro 2.5.363 Picture Collage Maker 2.0.5 Build 2029 Editor & Authoring Tools AoA DVD Creator 2.1.7 Aurora Web Editor 2008 Professional v5.2.1 AutoPlay Menu Builder v5.6.1406 MP3 Audio Editor 7.8.1 NGWave Audio Editor v4.4.20090404 Photodex ProShow Gold 4.0.2479 Photodex ProShow Producer 4.0.2479 Video Thumbnails Maker 2.0.1.0 Website Layout Maker Ultra Edition v2.5.7.0 Microsoft Visual Studio Team System 2008 Desktop Enhancements 360desktop v0.5.4.1479 Active Desktop Calendar 7.66 Build 081121 32-bit CubeDesktop.Pro.1.3.1 Dream Render 2.20 EarthDesk Pro 4.5.2 Perfect Clock V3.1 RealWorld Cursor Editor 2007.1 RocketDock v1.3.5 Shock Aero3D Snow for Windows 1.6 Stardock Desktop Pet 1.00 Stardock Fences v0.96.1533 Stardock IconPackager 4.2 Stardock SoundPackager 1.20.28.0 Talisman Desktop v3.0.3006 Total Stardock Application Suite 2009 ViennaDock 2.0 Webshots Desktop 3.1.1.7317 WindowBlinds 6.4 Build 73 XWindows Dock 5.2.1 Operating System CyberXP Xtreme (BETA) New Update 2009 Extra Small Windows XP USB Flash Edition 2009 Extreme Seven 2009 Premium - SP3 - Final - April 2009 Fedora 10 Ghost Windows XP SP3 Pro With Seven Black Style YN 9.9.1 Drivers iDeneb v1.4 10.5.6 for IntelAMD (Mac OSx86 Leopard) MacOSX 10.5.6 Microsoft Windows 7 Ultimate Beta 1 Build 7022 32Bit Microsoft Windows Vista SP2 32Bit Build 6002 16659 Microsoft Windows Vista ULTIMATE x86 SP1 Integrated February 2009 Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate x86 SP1 OEM Pre-Activated February 2009 2CDs Microsoft Windows Server 2008 12in1 MSDN DVD-CRBS Ubuntu 8.10 Intrepid Ibex Vortex XP Vista Style Third generation (3G-RED) 2009 Windows Royal Home Premium 2009 SP1 Windows Server 2003 Special Edition CD (10 in 1) Windows Vista Black Dream Child Forever Full (January 2009) Windows Vista InSpirat SP3 Ultimate Edition 2009 Windows Vista x64 SP1 Gamers Edition Windows Vista® Eternity™ 2009 SP1 X86 (Genuine Version) Windows XP Pro Asus EEE Edition 80MB Windows XP PRO SP3 VistaVG Black and Blue Ultimate Style 2009 Windows XP Professional SP3 Corporate February 2009 Windows XP Professional SP3 Corporate March 2009 Windows XP Se7en Lite 2009 Build 2 Windows XP SP3 Dark Edition V.7 Rebirth Refix Version ( 1 CD ) Windows XP Unattended Edition 2009 by DarkSide XP Windows XP Vista Lite 2009 v2.5 Windows XP-Se7en 2009 Build 7000 Basic Bootable DVD for MultiPC and Notebooks Windows XP Pro SP3 Full Untouched (New Update) System Tools Acronis True Image Home 2009 12 build 9785 Active@ File Recovery 7.3 Build 121 CachemanXP 1.8.0.15 CopyFaster 1.0 Deep Freeze Standard 6.41.021.1973 Dr.Hardware 2009 v9.9.2e Perfect Uninstaller 6.3.3.0 Power Memory Booster v6.1.0.3862 Recover My Files 3.98 Build 6356 Vopt 9.12 Shadow Defender 1.1.0.275 Startup Organizer 2.9.297 SR2 Super Utilities Pro 9.45 Repair Harddisk Bad Sector Pro 2009 SuperCopier 2 TuneUp Utilities 2009 v8.0.2000.35 TurboLaunch v5.1.1 Vista Manager 2.0.6 WinXP Manager 6.0.3 Your Uninstaller! PRO 2008 6.2.1347 Internet & Network Tools µTorrent v1.9 Build 14908 cFosSpeed 4.51 Build 1489 Firefox Slim 3.0.7 Gbridge 1.0.0.1193 HiDownload Pro v7.28 Internet Download Manager 5.16 Opera 10.0 Build 1413 Alpha Pidgin 2.5.5 TeamViewer 4.0 Build 5769 WebcamMax v5.1.1.12 Office Tools Babylon 7.5.2.r13 Multilang Classic Menu For Office 2007 4.00 Foxit PDF Editor v2.0.1011 2009 Foxit Reader Pro 3.0 Build 1301 Lingoes 2.5.3 Microsoft Office 2007 Blue Edition Microsoft Office Enterprise 2007 (Highly Compressed) Microsoft Office Professional Plus 2007 With SP2 Build 12.0.6416.1000 MTD9 EVA 2009 xNeat Cipboard Manager 1.0.0.6 Burning - Converter - Ripper BurnAware Professional 2.3.2 Extra DVD Ripper Express v6.5 FairStars Audio Converter 1.80 Nero 9.2.6.0 Opell Video Converter v2.2.2 Power Video Converter 2.2.4 Total Video Converter 3.21 Xilisoft Audio Converter 2.1.74.0303 Xilisoft DVD Ripper Ultimate 5.0.49.0310 Xilisoft Video Converter Ultimate 5.1.23.0402 Virtual & CD DVD Tool Alcohol 120% 1.9.8.7530 AnyDVD & AnyDVD HD v6.5.2.8 AoA DVD Creator 2.1.7 Daemon Tools Pro Advanced 4.30.304.47 Droppix Recorder v2.9.0.0 DVDFab Platinum 5.3.2.0 GameJackal Pro 3.2.0.6 UltraISO Premium Edition 9.3.3 Build 2685 VSO ConvertXToDVD v3.5.3.139 Xilisoft DVD Creator 3.0.40.0313 Security AVG Internet Security 8.5.281 Build 1448 BitDefender Total Security 2009 Build 12.0.144 Kaspersky Internet Security 2009 8.0.0.506 Lavasoft Ad-Aware Anniversary 2009 Professional Edition 8.0.3 Malware Defender v2.1.1 Norton Internet Security 2009 16.2.0.7 Spyware Doctor v6.0.1.440 Trojan Remover 6.7.6 Build 2568 TrojanHunter 5.0 Build 968 USB Disk Security 5.1.0.15 Others Active Lock 2.0 Advanced PDF Password Recovery 5.02 Genuine Windows 2.6 PowerArchiver 2009 11.50.23 Salfeld Child Control 10.115.0.0 ThinApp 4.0.2.3089 Universal Maps Downloader 4.0 Universal Viewer Pro v3.8.5 USB Safely Remove 4.1.2.777 WinRAR 3.80 Download: JinoL_YoDownload_SoftwaresPack_09_TinyVer_.part1.rar (95.37 MB) JinoL_YoDownload_SoftwaresPack_09_TinyVer_.part2.rar (95.37 MB) JinoL_YoDownload_SoftwaresPack_09_TinyVer_.part3.rar (95.37 MB) JinoL_YoDownload_SoftwaresPack_09_TinyVer_.part4.rar (95.37 MB) JinoL_YoDownload_SoftwaresPack_09_TinyVer_.part5.rar (95.37 MB) JinoL_YoDownload_SoftwaresPack_09_TinyVer_.part6.rar (95.37 MB) JinoL_YoDownload_SoftwaresPack_09_TinyVer_.part7.rar (95.37 MB) JinoL_YoDownload_SoftwaresPack_09_TinyVer_.part8.rar (35.81 MB) |
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