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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Office Humour...

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled and asked him to sit down saying:"My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.


Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Man: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Man: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Man: 10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day.
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Man: 122(1/3 x 366=122 in days)
Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?
Man: No sir.
Manager: How many days r there in a year that r weekends?
Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days do u now have?
Man: 18 days.
Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Man: 4 days.
Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on Independence Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do u work on Christmas Day?
Man: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: None Sir!
Manager: So what r u claiming?
Man: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!


HR - HIGH RISK.


~~~

Profile of a Software Engineer (ORKUT) !!

About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone!! Ok...I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (If you know me--> "Just stop laughing!!")


Relationship status: what

Birthday :The day my PL is about to fire me

Age : 10111

Here for : web browsing in company hours.

Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)

Ethnicity : Programmer.

Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101

Religion: I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.

Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!

Humor : weekly.

Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag

Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.

Drinking : The first is this.

Pets : Yeah, my PL looks like a dog.

Living : Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!

Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page

Webpage : http://naukri.com , http://jobsahead.com - Isnt it Ultimate???

Passions : searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future

Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.

Activities : Are you crazy?

Books : "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored.

Music : Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing

Tv shows : can't afford one.

Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meteres of Home.



~~~
~~~

what is LOVE? what is MARRIAGE?

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: - you can go through them only once & cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for better ones, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...."*

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium sized corn that he felt satisfied, and came back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."


~~~

Newton in Romantic Mood...

Universal Law oOf Love:

" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "

First Law of Love:

"A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy. "

Second Law of Love:

"The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance. "


T
hird Law of Love:

" The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping."



~~~

Who works for India ?




The population of India is 100 crores.

100,000,00,000

But 19 crores are retired -19,000,00,000

That leaves 81 crores do the work 81,000,00,000

There are 25 crores in school - 25,000,00,000

which leaves 56 crores to do the work- 56,000,00,000

Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Govt -22,000,00,000 ( No Use )

leaving 34 crores to do the work 34,000,00,000

4 crores are in the Armed Forces -4,000,00,000 (Salute them)

which leaves 30 crores to do the work -30,000,00,0 00

Take away from above total the 20 crores people work for State Governments

(State Government employees officially do not work!)

-20,000,00,000

and that leaves 10 crores to do the work 10,000,00,000

Total unemployed are 8 crores -8,000,00,000

and that leaves 2 crores to do the work -2,000,00,000

At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals -1,200,00,000

leaving 80 lakhs to do the work 80,00,000

Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are -79,99,998

people are in prisons throughout the country -79,99,998

That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......

2

You and me!!!


And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading my BLOG .

So I am the only person in our country who is working! And that's why India
is surviving!!!

Now, please log out and do your job because, for a change, I
want to rest. And I don't want India to suffer because of that.


~~~

Waiting for a Perfect Man



This is dedicated to all ladies who end up searching for a Perfect Man all their life time who can love them a lot and all the time..care for them a lot..do their work..help them all the time ..spend all his time with them..earn a lot.. buy any thing for them..call them Miss Universe.. praise them all the time.. !!!!! Enough.. this blog space is not enough to explain what they expect......!!!
Gentlemen - U can have a good laugh at it.

~~~

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

CV and Resume

Question: Curriculum Vitae vs. Resume?
What is the difference between a curriculum vitae (CV) and a resume?
Answer: The primary differences between a resume and a curriculum vitae (CV) are the length, what is included and what each is used for. A resume is a one or two page summary of your skills, experience and education. While a resume is brief and concise - no more than a page or two, a Curriculum Vitae is a longer (at least two page) and more detailed synopsis.

A Curriculum Vitae includes a summary of your educational and academic backgrounds as well as teaching and research experience, publications, presentations, awards, honors, affiliations and other details. In Europe, the Middle East, Africa, or Asia, employers may expect to receive a curriculum vitae.

In the United States, a curriculum vitae is used primarily when applying for academic, education, scientific or research positions. It is also applicable when applying for fellowships or grants.

How Does Resume Differ From Curriculum Vitae
Curriculum Vitae and Resumes are both used in job applications. They have the same intent which is to state the facts about the applicant's education, work experience, skills and accomplishments. The main difference between the two is the way these facts were presented.

The resume is the brief summary of the individual's work history, educational attainment and relevant skills and accomplishment to the job being applied. An individual can create several resume for different positions or different companies.

The Curriculum Vitae on the other hand bear all the information of an individual. Every detail of education, employment, achievements and skills are listed with the addition of the organizations or affiliations, licenses and commendations. All previous work experiences must be properly listed with elaborated job descriptions. It allows the individuals to elaborate the oldest achievement or the earliest award they received in the past. All trainings and seminars attended are likewise listed in the Curriculum Vitae. Thus, Curriculum Vitae are actually longer than Resume

Resume by standard should be concise and relevant to the position being applied. It should be tailored to fit the requirement of the prospective company or employer. No unnecessary achievements or skills must be mention because it would rather gain an impression of audacity. Personal details in Resume are likewise limited to residence address, contact details, date of birth, civil status and nationality.

The Curriculum Vitae on the contrary depict substantial details on the personal life of an individual. It contains even the voluntary work and social affiliations of the applicant. It is this reason that Curriculum Vitae are usually used when applying in academic, medical, scientific and overseas jobs because employers in these industries prefer to know each applicant thoroughly.

Computer Science And IT

Computer science, in every school I've ever seen, is programming. So its the study of algorithms, data structures, complexity theory, all the way down to learning what makes an operating system work. Its the science of computing, not the electrical engineering of the hardware, as some seem to think. That's an entirely different topic.

Information technology is learning to use computers in business or in any practical application. While most schools require at least some basic programming courses for information technology, they don't become programmers. It is simply so they understand, at a very basic level, what is involved behind the scenes.

Put simply, computer science is learning to program applications and the theory behind that. Information technology is learning to use technology in business.

---

Computer Science is basically concerned with the study of computers. A student of Computer Science learns about hardware and operating systems. It is also about highly technical stuff like registers, multitasking kernels, databases and address buses. It is said to be about the principles of computing and about the design of the computer and its operation. Computer science is concerned only with computers while it is not so with Information technology.

Information Technology on the other hand is about how the computer can be employed to various operations in life. Thus it concerned with the study of applying computer science to day-to-day human operations in industries and businesses. A student of Information technology would deal with subjects like programming, databases, software, application etc rather than the actual operation of the computer itself. Thus IT is about the use of the computer for certain functions that would make work easier and better without actual delving into the details of computer operations.

Electrical and Electronics

What is the difference between Electrical and Electronics?

Electrical is transmitting or operated by electricity while Electronics are the science development and application of devices and systems involving the flow of electrons.

[Electrics are circuits which transfer and manipulate energy, where electronics are circuits which manipulate signals (information). ]

Examples
Electrical Elements / Components:
Resistors, Inductors, Capacitors, Diodes, Switches and Transistors
Electronics:
TV, VCR, Radio, CD Player, Computer, etc....

Eletronics refer to items such as computers or anything that runs on electric., it also refers to the general of electric.
Electractrial refers to it running on electric.
dictionary definition:
e‧lec‧tron‧ics  /ɪlɛkˈtrɒnɪks, ˌilɛk-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[i-lek-tron-iks, ee-lek-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun (used with a singular verb) the science dealing with the development and application of devices and systems involving the flow of electrons in a vacuum, in gaseous media, and in semiconductors.

e‧lec‧tri‧cal  /ɪˈlɛktrɪkəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[i-lek-tri-kuhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–adjective 1. electric.
2. concerned with electricity: an electrical consultant.


Electrical deals with A/C voltage (Usually 110 to 440 volts are more) and electronics deals with D/C voltage (Very low voltages), for the most part. Now understand that they each could have both, but in basic terms, thats how it boils down. D/C voltages are usually in circuit boards, being generated by an A/C to D/C transformer. Confused? Yeah, so is everyone else! Thats why so few people can fix a TV set nowadays.

Guarantee and Warranty

What is the difference betwen a guarantee and warranty?

According to the 1985 Moss Magnuson Act, warranty and guarantee are the same thing.

A guarantee is a document to protect consumer rights. It is a promise by a seller with a buyer for complete replacement of the item/ article or product; usually guarantee is valid for a fixed period of time. It has a legal status, even if we do not pay for or it was offered free of cost by a seller.

Warranty is also a document that protects consumer rights. It is more or less like insurance policy for that we have to pay certain amount to come into legal contract. So on the basis of this legal bond the company can be taken to court if it does not bound what has been agreed in the warranty document. Warranty covers only repair of the article.

Guarantee is more in manufacture, Warranty is more in distribution and reselling parts; for example, a company manufacture a scooter is liable for manufacture guarantee,on the other hand, some importer or distributor resell the products will use warranty.

Plasma and LCD

What is the Difference Between Plasma and LCD?


One of the greatest confusions in the television market today comes from the two major types of newer television display technologies competing against each other, plasma and LCD. While, on the surface, it may not look like there is much of a difference between plasma and LCD, looks can be deceiving. Each has its own technology and its own pros and cons.

The main difference between plasma and LCD monitors and televisions is how the pixels are lighted up. In plasma screens, plasma gas is used to excite visible light photons, which produce color on the screen through the lighting of the pixels into different colors. Thus, it is actually a gas that is responsible for the images one sees on a plasma televisions.

The technology for LCD screens is somewhat different. Each pixel has three colors: red, green and blue. LCD televisions require a backlight. However, the liquid crystals, when energized, block certain colors in the pixels from showing, or at least showing as much. This produces the desired color. The main difference with LCD televisions is the backlight is always on.

The decision between plasma and LCD comes down to a matter of personal preference. LCD, which was never meant for video displays, has a slower refresh rate than plasma. Thus, the criticism is that fast-moving images can sometimes show what are referred to as ghosts, images that have not cleared themselves completely from vision. However, the technology has improved over the years to refresh rates that are very comparable to plasma.

Some prefer LCD televisions because they weigh less and use less energy than do plasma screens. However, both types of display technologies weigh less than conventional televisions, so there is always a net gain when going from traditional to the newer technology. However, for wall mounting, LCDs are usually much simpler.

Plasma televisions, because there is no competing backlight for distorting any of the colors, produce much truer colors. For those who are truly interested in getting the most lifelike colors possible, the plasma technology is nearly comparable to the old CRT technology. Plus, there is an additional benefit of having a sharp, clean picture to view, much more so than a traditional television display can deliver.

For those living at higher altitudes, there are also considerations when considering plasma and LCD. The gas in a plasma set acts somewhat differently at higher altitudes and could produce a distorted view. The LCD television does not have this problem. Therefore, LCD sets may be preferred in mountainous areas.

In the end, for most viewers, the differences between plasma and LCD are a matter of academic debate. Most will find the difference between traditional displays and these newer displays to be so much greater that the differences between plasma and LCD pale in comparison. However, doing a little research before buying will help ensure the consumer gets the best product they can afford, and one especially suited to their purposes.


Question: Should I Buy an LCD Television or a Plasma Television?
Answer: The final decision as to what type of flat panel television to purchase (LCD or Plasma) is really up to you; both types of flat panel televisions have advantages and disadvantages.

Plasma Television Advantages

For Plasma televisions, the advantages over LCD, are: Better contrast ratio, better ability to render deep blacks, more color depth, better motion tracking (response time), and more availability in very large screen sizes.

Plasma Television Disadvantages

However, the disadvantages of Plasma vs LCD include: more susceptible to burn-in (although this is not as much of a factor now, due to technology improvements in the past few years), more heat generation (as well as more power consumption), does not perform as well at higher altitudes, screen glare in brightly lit rooms, heavier weight, and more delicate to ship.

LCD Television Advantages

LCD television advantages include no burn-in susceptibility, cooler running, less screen glare, more functional at high altitudes, longer display life (although improvements are being made in Plasma screen life), looks better in brightly lit rooms, and less power consumption than Plasma.

Also, LCD televisions have made great strides in upping-the-ante in native pixel resolution, with a growing number of sets offering a full 1080p (1920x1080) display capability at affordable price levels in screen sizes ranging from 37-inches and up. On the other hand, the number of Plasma Televisions offering 1080p native pixel resolution are increasing, there are aren't as many affordable 1080p choices in the 42-inch screen size, as well as being more expensive in comparison to their LCD counterparts.

One factor to consider in favor of LCD over Plasma (at least for the near future) is that if you are planning to purchase a Blu-ray Disc, HD-DVD, or Upscaling DVD Player, LCD may be a more cost-effective option as you can get a 1080p LCD set from 37-to-42-inches at a lower price than and 42-inch size Plasma set that has 1080p resolution.

One other factor to consider is that LCD televisions are typically lighter (when comparing same screen sizes) than their Plasma counterparts, making wall installation easier.

LCD Television Disadvantages

LCD televisions do have drawbacks in several areas vs Plasma televisions: Lower contrast ratio, not as good rendering deep blacks, not as good at tracking motion (although this is improving, especially with the implementation of 120Hz refresh rates (and some now offer 240Hz) on higher-end models).

Also, although LCD televisions do not suffer from burn-in susceptibility, it is possible that individual pixels on an LCD televisions can burn out, causing small, visible, black or white dots to appear on the screen. Individual pixels cannot be repaired, the whole screen would need to be replaced at that point, if the individual pixel burnout becomes annoying to you. Finally, large screen LCD televisions are usually more expensive than an equivalent-sized Plasma television, although the price gap is closing.

The Mercury Issue

Also, one argument that Plasma Television manufacturers are making about LCD Televisions is that they use mercury as part of the chemical makeup of the florescent lighting used to illuminate the screen surface.

However, this is a "red herring" with regards to choosing a Plasma Television over an LCD Television. In LCD sets, the amount of Mercury used is not only small, it never comes in contact with the user. Also, keep in mind that most common high-efficiency florescent lamps also use Mercury.

Mercury is one of the Earth's elements; its existence in nature is a part of natural processes and has both beneficial and non-beneficial uses, just as most other elements and chemical compounds. You are probably in more danger eating fish, that may contain traces of Mercury, a couple of times a week than watching, touching, or using an LCD TV. Also, with the development of LED lighting sources for use in LCD televisions, which is Mercury-free, this issue will resolve itself in the years ahead.

Closing Thoughts

My recommendation is to go to a dealer and really take a look carefully at several Plasma and LCD televisions and compare the performance based on the above factors and narrow down your choices to one or two of both types and make your decision based on what type will give you the most pleasing image, connection flexibility, and fits your overall budget expectations.

However, both Flat Panel Plasma and LCD televisions are viable options for home theater, and, with prices continuing to come down and features and quality continuing to go up, both types are quickly becoming a good value for consumers.